“And you’ll always love me
won’t you?
Yes
And the rain won’t make any
difference?
No
Ernest Hemingway
Tag: Children
just another day..
just another day on the on the home front.. numerous cups of tea, Vegemite toast,endless amounts of washing,home-made ice-poles with water play, nose piercings, mess and afternoon tea. And we will do it all again tomorrow.
black and white pictures
pictures captured on the beach in Cows, Phillip Island, with myself,Georgia, Boo and the rain
There may be more to it.
Most of the time to look at him you would never know. His quirky traits are playful parts of his personality. He is only three. He is boisterous, fast and loud, and can woo you with his infectious smile. When he smiles, when he sees you, you immediately feel better about everything. This same three year old can in an instant bring you to an immense feeling of hopelessness. Meltdowns would seem to the untrained eye, a temper tantrum, a child clearly out of control, manipulating parents with learnt loud, aggressive and unacceptable behaviour; clearly a spoilt child in need of some serious parental discipline. It would appear to the observer that the parent is too complacent, too submissive in their response to this confronting public display. It doesn’t seem to matter if on looker’s refrain from voicing their discontent, standing by with their well behaved children. In that moment they are the better parent. The judgment is always felt. Rarely are sympathetic, compassionate smiles of kinship offered. Even without the underpinning of autism, as parents we have all been there. When was it that we began to judge each other so harshly? When did we become unsympathetic towards each other in these moments? Where is the heartfelt understanding amongst mothers that says ‘it’s alright, I’ve been there too, actually it was only just this morning.’ I have found these moments to be the hardest on older siblings. They are all too aware of judging on lookers. They have mixed emotions, they know what is needed in this moment for their loved one. They have seen it many times, they are familiar and unconcerned when it is in the comfort of their home. Five minutes may as well be five hours. They feel his torment and carry the guilt of their own torment of silently wanting to step away; I understand. Explanation of peoples reactions is always necessary after any public outburst. I remind them every time that it doesn’t matter what people are thinking about us, or about our actions or lack thereof. All that ever matters is how we respond towards our Boo. For we understand and know him better than anyone else. I can only hope that the lesson my children are learning here might be that when they go about their lives and find themselves witnesses to yet another story, that judgment won’t be their first impression and that they will remember to feel compassion. Maybe even offer a reassuring smile to show that they too know this story only too well and understand.
some place, he goes
I often wonder where he goes. The moments when stillness overcomes his small body and a vacant look sets upon him deep within the souls of his eyes. He lays awake almost unmoving, yet in such a place you know in this moment, that you are not welcome to visit. You can’t go there with him, he can’t tell you where he’s been. I wonder what his thoughts are. What is this three-year old contemplating so deeply on. Or is he even contemplating at all. Maybe he is in that place, the place we have all at times in our lives so desperately wanted to escape to. The place of nothingness. Where needing and wanting simply don’t exist. There is no feeling, no emotion, no thought. Just being. Being still in a world that is full of ever moving motion. I wonder if i’ll ever know where he goes. I wonder if there will be a time when he will know, or if it will remain a mysterious part of his life, for his life. There is a part of me that hopes he’ll hold onto this special place, a hope that he won’t grow out of or forget how to get there. I’m not bothered by when or how often he disappears, I’m reassured that where ever he is going there is peace and it is offering him a calmness that can come from no other place than there. This place, is a sanctuary of rest that seems to belong to only him, it’s a blessing, a moment of clarity, it’s probably more real than anything else in this wonderful dream like state we are all living in.
moments
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
Khalil Gibran, The Prophet
this day in march…
We spent this welcomed Sunday simply hanging out at home reading, playing and reluctantly tending to the laundry, oh and eating an abundance of left over cake from a friday night birthday gathering for our two oldest girls. The whole family is enjoying our new pre loved couch that is so comfortable it’s almost impossible to get up off, which is not such a bad thing. We set up an outdoor room on our back decking that is providing a nice little hide away, one day we’ll transform it into another room and then we can all argue about who needs the space more. Nash, our 12 year old spent some much needed playing time with the babies which was really nice to see, this is a tough age to be, for us all.
so far…
As you may know we have been blessed with autism. It comes to us as a great gift encompassed in our Boo. this is a few of the things we have learnt so far on our journey,
you can never have too many trains
it’s alright to eat your breakfast cereal and milk separately
repetition can be like a meditation
it’s not always necessary to use words to talk all the time, communication takes on many forms
it’s always better to ask for a kiss or cuddle first
we don’t mind getting caught up at railway crossings anymore, it’s kind of exciting
people sometimes assume that certain behaviours are naughty… but the people who matter, know better
sometimes it’s better to take a nap instead of going shopping
don’t ever be too busy to pause for a cuddle if one is spontaneously offered
to love, love and love with patients
christmas
Christmas day was celebrated at home this year, this being the first time we have been brave enough to play host to the whole family for a day. We set up a long table in the garden under the maple trees which turned out to be the perfect setting. Our big girls set the table with crisp white table cloths and hand made place cards, they picked herbs from the garden and put them into little green bottles, we used silver bone cutlery passed down to us from the nanas and drank Moet Chandon for the occasion, we served pork that we slow roasted overnight with a home made beetroot and apple chutney, lamb on the bone cooked for 6 hours in red wine, honey glazed roasted pumpkin and whole baby carrots. We ate way too much, laughed, shared stories, watched the children play, lazed about in the garden and in all had a really nice day
.
PICASSO and BOO
we so love you BOO
global parents UNICEF
If there is anything I can pass onto my children with a hope they too will carry it on in their lives, it would be the simple act of giving.
Today we became proud parents. Parents to children we may never see, to their voices we may never hear, to their hands we will never hold, we may never be seen in their eyes as important nor will they ever know of us by name. We are taking care of these children We are becoming part of a movement where humanity matters Where children have the right to eat when they are hungry, the right to drink water that won’t make them sick, the right to be cared for and educated, and the right to feel safe and loved.
Today we gave.
in the garden
building cubby houses
this was my absolute favorite thing to do as a child, i remember draping sheets all over my childhood lounge room and spending hours upon hours entertaining all of my stuffed guests with tea and sweets. I often wonder if in this technological world we now find ourselves living in, if children are still being guided towards the simplicity of this sort of play.
my handsome boys
play dough
there is quite a gap between our two-year old and his older siblings. i must admit it’s taken a little adjusting to get myself back into toddler mode. we are beginning to introduce some forms of structured play to our boo. i had forgotten how much fun play dough actually is… my older children would never admit it but they too enjoy a good round of play dough
play dough recipe
ingredients
2cups plain flour,2tbls cream of tarte,2 tbls canola oil,3/4 cup table salt,food colouring,2 cups water,
method
combine all of the ingredients together in a saucepan and stir over a medium heat for approximately 5 minutes or until mixture comes together. be carful not to over cook as this will make the play dough dry. need on a lightly floured surface.
St GEORGIA & Boo 