‘There are no idle thoughts. All thinking produces form at some level’ – a course in miracles

IMG_7501 IMG_7513 We are settled enough here to begin now, this journey that only now do i realise that I’ve always been making my way towards. I’m stepping into the space of myself. Its necessary, if i am not to fall back into ways that are no longer serving to me. What matters to me now is simple. Truth. To be in the world as i divinely am, to know who it is beneath the layers. No masks, roles or expectations to play to any part that divinely isn’t who i am. I’m wanting the deeper understanding, as much as can possibly really be understood in this moment.  It’s the deeper questions that I’m asking now, the same ones I’ve been asking for the greater part of my life, only now i am truly ready for the answers, no longer bound by the fear of what the knowing would entail. I understand now that nothing real can ever be lost by letting go of the story, nothing really exists that isn’t real anyway. It’s important for me to move into this place now, to not need to fill any gaps of myself with anything at all, not people, not things, places or experiences. The answers and knowing I’m seeking, are right here, in the depths of who i am.  I understand, it’s not necessary to travel across the world for this. And although as tempting as it is, unnecessary to walk any long roads to Santiago, or be on the Ganges ‘Holy’ River for my prayers to be offered up and heard. It is not necessary for me to excuse myself from the life i have created. No need to stop, or pause in what truly matters. I can be a mother and find the truth of who i am in the same moment. It doesn’t require much to truly pay attention to your children and yourself, but it does require discipline, and the courage to let go of all that distracts and holds us away from them and ourselves. What is required is simplicity and less. Less stuff, less distraction, less doing, less compensating, less justifying, less hiding, less pretending. It requires giving into the less whist existing in a world that impels us towards needing more. It is necessary,  to pause before deciding, to breath before reacting. Reminding yourself to choose love over fear in every instance and in every impending judgement you place upon another. Knowing deeply that what you think and say and do matters on the most unfathomable of levels.   It’s knowing that forgiveness is incontestable and gratitude is absolute. Its willingness to move into these places of ourselves, because its our life right, the only way to go when you have spent enough time going all the other ways. You know that it’s time when you deeply understand that going backwards is no longer an option and life won’t allow you to stand still this time, not for this calling forward. I will undo, i will let go and keep going inwards and upwards. I won’t apologise for what can’t be during this time, honoring myself wholly for the first time in my life. From here, may only Truth follow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s