‘It is worse to stay where one does not belong at all than to wonder about lost for a while and looking for a psychic and soulful kinship one requires. It is never a mistake to search for what one requires. Never.’
-Clarissa Pinkola Estes
She has up until this point tried to go without her soul life. That was never going to be enough. There comes a time when beginning again is necessary. Stripping back the layers of any delusions she has built up around herself over the years, revealing what lies beneath. This will take sometime, many moments requiring patients and the deepest of commitment to herself. She will begin the decent, travelling the road into the depths of her own intricate self. It could possibly be the most important journey she is ever going to take. For some, this time never comes, for others it comes with great fears attached, tremendous risks or copious hurts. The beginning of the decent usually comes without choice, it presents with a sense of urgency, it is a matter of survival, not of the hungry kind, we are talking about something much deeper than that. One where she knows, if she allows things to remain the same, that she most definitely will not survive. That any truth of her own will be lost, that she will lose her ‘self’ in this life she is moving through. There is a part in the back of her mind that is all-consuming with a terrifying fear, one that she has never before experienced, one that says don’t do it, stay here, safe and hidden in this story you have created for yourself. It is here in this moment that she must gather all that she knows to be true about herself, draw deeply on her faith and instinctual self and go, in a way that she knows she must. It is here, where she let’s go, of all that she knows to be true, of any safe haven she had, leaving her only with her own vulnerability in the palms of her hands. She does ‘this in order to learn her way, in order to clear her way, to the true and wild self.’
lemon thyme butter biscuits
ingredients:125 g butter,softened,100g caster sugar,1 free-range egg,200g plain flour,zest of 2 lemons,¼ teaspoon baking powder,1 pinch sea salt,3 tablespoons demerara sugar, juice of a lemon, 1/3cup icing sugar, Few sprigs of thyme
method: Beat the butter and sugar in a bowl with an electric mixer until light and creamy. Add the egg and beat until light and fluffy. Add the flour, lemon zest, baking powder and salt and mix until you have a ball of dough. Cover and place in the fridge for 1 hour, or until firm.
Preheat your oven to 180°C. Roll out the dough on a floured surface until ½cm thick. Using a cookie cutter, cut the dough into desired shape and place onto a lined baking tray. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until the edges are light brown. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely before icing. Mix the icing sugar and add the juice of a lemon slowly until the desired consistency is reached, aim for thick pouring cream consistency, too thin and it will run off the biscuits. Sprinkle with demerara sugar and tiny sprigs of thyme. Set in the fridge for an hour before serving. Place in a jar or air tight container in the fridge to keep.
Slightly varied butter biscuit recipe, Jamie Oliver, Ref -Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women who run with the wolves