changing the paradigms

As my two wilder ones are embarking on their journey of natural learning and self-directed education, my oldest son is finalising his, on the mainstream path.  It’s been a long tedious road, and i can’t say its been worth it. If only i had realised all that i do now, we may have never let that story play our for so long. So much of this path or knowing we have found ourselves travelling on comes from Trust. Trusting myself to know what is best for my children and trusting my children in that they also know what is best for themselves.

My son is excited, really excited. He has no idea what he wants to do, but the possibilities that await and the fact that he can now choose for himself has made him ecstatic. Most might be uncomfortable sitting in the ‘unknown’ with their children’s next move. Most would feel a pressure in wanting them to have an idea or an answer. Most would not be alright in their child just pausing to find their feet or in them seeking out their own fire.

There is no plan that’s set in stone for us, and we have no intention of forcing any learning upon him anymore that holds no interest for him.  We have learnt the hard way, that this rarely works and its more that likely that the information and possibly the skills that we believe are relevant to now, will be more than likely be irrelevant in the future anyway.  Right now what is important for this new venture my son is embarking on is that he regains his passion for learning, not for the sake of meeting some  regulation, or somebody elses ideas of what he should be doing in his life, but for himself. His passions, his ideas and adventures for his life are his to own and pursue, that freedom is his right. School for him has been what has denied him this basic right, for the last ten years.

Now, he will have the freedom to explore what ever it is he is drawn to in this moment. There simply is no need or expectation for him to have it all worked out just yet. It’s absurd, that this has become the ‘norm’ within the realms of the educational system.  There will be times, when the space isn’t filled. There will be more time spent now, where he is not in the position of being ‘directed’ or ‘told’ what to do than ever before in his life. There will be some ‘uncomfortableness’ here, and an uneasiness in this freedom this brings.  Why is it we fill children up from such a young ages, leaving no room for boredom or self discovery; always keeping them ‘productive’ and ‘doing’ in their lives, and in turn keeping them the furthest from discovering their own desires. The longer children are kept within these reins, the longer it takes for them to find their way back towards what it is that they truly desire for themselves. Usually it’s not until, there is enough time left  ‘unfilled’ and free from the direction and ideas of others that they can truly begin to discover this for themselves.

The process of unfolding everything  ‘school’ has made an imprint on, will be long. It will require, patients in the transitioning from being schooled to one where he has the freedom to move in his own life. He will no longer be forced to endure long sessions of dictation on subject matters that have little to no relevance him. He will no loner be conditioned when to eat, speak, sit, stand or listen and if he needs use the bathroom now, he wont be degraded in to having to ask for permission.

So as for the restlessness that most likely will arise at times in the ‘Not’ being consistently told what to do, there’s also going to be a great beauty in bearing witness to my son discovering for the first time the things that truly drive him for the journey of his own life.

 

 

 

 

 

SaveSave

SaveSaveSaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

raising outrageously tall poppies of a new kind

 img_9874 img_9877 img_9884 img_9883 img_9878 img_9919 img_9926 img_9920

I am outrageously passionate about learning but not so passionate about schooling.

I have wild ones, that i am certain of.  Anyone who knows them well enough would find it hard to disagree.  It is true, that my little ones have the freedom to be as they are in all of their delightful and not so delightful shades. And it is true as a mother that i have recognised early what will and will not work for them without greatly effecting their inherent selves.  This has taken us on a path that is  undoubtably moving us away from any of the traditionalism that is usually expected right now at their ages. However, I am no longer really interested into moulding them into something that resembles little to who they are, for the sake of somebody elses idea of what they should be doing. The more I leave them alone, to follow their own guidance, the more i am recognising that they are always discovering and learning exactly what they need to be at precisely the right time for them. I cannot imagine these two little ones thriving in traditional school setting. My youngest would without a doubt conquer her experience if she was to embark on the mainstream schooling path.  She would surly learn quickly to play by the rules and manipulate the system well. I’m certain she would challenge where she deemed necessary and the probability of this occurring more often than not would be high.  She would absolutely, unquestionably survive the system. Except, to survive I’m afraid is no longer adequately enough. In every other part of our lives we are living truthfully, not measuring ourselves or abilities by any other person or methodical method. We are not comparing, justifying or compromising our selves. Most importantly we are not trying to please any one else’s expectations. And so much of education has been built around this calibre. Children are forever trying to please, do it the right way, the way that gets them the most praise and recognition. For what?  They are taught early that what other people think, matters more than their own innate inclinations and i wonder is that really what we are wanting our children to believe? That they don’t matter as much as the one who stands before them. The one who has taken a more conventional path, the one who is older, the one who has a higher degree, the one who has a larger bank balance, the one who was born male?  This familiar notion could go on forever.  Disregarding our own guidance to please somebody elses ideas for what they deem to be right.  I’m clear that my children were not born to please me or anyone else for that matter. Their lives are theirs to mould into what ever shape they desire, even at the ages of four and five. Their ‘wildness’ is inherently their own. Following this path of learning and living has been easier and come more naturally than any other orchestrated path we have followed before. This path is natural learning, a more natural education. It allows my children to show up fully in the truth of who they are. They don’t need to hide behind masks or pretend to be or like anything that they don’t.  It teaches them to speak their truth, and maybe when they are older they will be less afraid of this, especially if their notions lend themselves towards raising a little controversy.