changing the paradigms

As my two wilder ones are embarking on their journey of natural learning and self-directed education, my oldest son is finalising his, on the mainstream path.  It’s been a long tedious road, and i can’t say its been worth it. If only i had realised all that i do now, we may have never let that story play our for so long. So much of this path or knowing we have found ourselves travelling on comes from Trust. Trusting myself to know what is best for my children and trusting my children in that they also know what is best for themselves.

My son is excited, really excited. He has no idea what he wants to do, but the possibilities that await and the fact that he can now choose for himself has made him ecstatic. Most might be uncomfortable sitting in the ‘unknown’ with their children’s next move. Most would feel a pressure in wanting them to have an idea or an answer. Most would not be alright in their child just pausing to find their feet or in them seeking out their own fire.

There is no plan that’s set in stone for us, and we have no intention of forcing any learning upon him anymore that holds no interest for him.  We have learnt the hard way, that this rarely works and its more that likely that the information and possibly the skills that we believe are relevant to now, will be more than likely be irrelevant in the future anyway.  Right now what is important for this new venture my son is embarking on is that he regains his passion for learning, not for the sake of meeting some  regulation, or somebody elses ideas of what he should be doing in his life, but for himself. His passions, his ideas and adventures for his life are his to own and pursue, that freedom is his right. School for him has been what has denied him this basic right, for the last ten years.

Now, he will have the freedom to explore what ever it is he is drawn to in this moment. There simply is no need or expectation for him to have it all worked out just yet. It’s absurd, that this has become the ‘norm’ within the realms of the educational system.  There will be times, when the space isn’t filled. There will be more time spent now, where he is not in the position of being ‘directed’ or ‘told’ what to do than ever before in his life. There will be some ‘uncomfortableness’ here, and an uneasiness in this freedom this brings.  Why is it we fill children up from such a young ages, leaving no room for boredom or self discovery; always keeping them ‘productive’ and ‘doing’ in their lives, and in turn keeping them the furthest from discovering their own desires. The longer children are kept within these reins, the longer it takes for them to find their way back towards what it is that they truly desire for themselves. Usually it’s not until, there is enough time left  ‘unfilled’ and free from the direction and ideas of others that they can truly begin to discover this for themselves.

The process of unfolding everything  ‘school’ has made an imprint on, will be long. It will require, patients in the transitioning from being schooled to one where he has the freedom to move in his own life. He will no longer be forced to endure long sessions of dictation on subject matters that have little to no relevance him. He will no loner be conditioned when to eat, speak, sit, stand or listen and if he needs use the bathroom now, he wont be degraded in to having to ask for permission.

So as for the restlessness that most likely will arise at times in the ‘Not’ being consistently told what to do, there’s also going to be a great beauty in bearing witness to my son discovering for the first time the things that truly drive him for the journey of his own life.

 

 

 

 

 

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untainted learning

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We are learning about space. Imagining whats our there, trying to conceive how big the universe really is, how little we are and really know. The one thing i have noticed the most since coming here, is the stars. Rarely in life, did i look up. Now i can’t help but not. Here in this wide open space, the stillness of night  brings a peace i have never known before. The black skies are free from impeding suburban lights and are now dark and mysterious and filled with such a magnitude of stars. It reminds me how small this moment is, how we are just circling around and around again in life. Children love the mystery, they are more open to mystical theories and stories around life, worlds and gods innocently holding notions that anything is plausible.  Rationality has yet to taint their thinking. They are yet to be corrupted by the rules of the way things are said to be. I don’t want to play that role in their lives. I want their hearts, minds and souls to remain wide open to the extraordinary mystery of this world, of their lives. I want them to believe the believable truth that anything is possible. Because who has the right to say it’s not. Our children are more awake, than ever before. Old ways of parenting and teaching children will never work on these new generations, they know too much, they won’t be dictated to, just because we believe we are older and wiser, if that really means anything anyway. We need to come to children on the level of respect that we wish them to come to us with. My three-year old will allow nothing to be done for her. She will master everything with her determination even if it means kicking and screaming through the frustration of trying. We all listen, usually horrified at the rage that can erupt in her tiny body, but she is adamant on allowing no help. So we let her go, raging and all and eventually she always succeeds in her endeavours. I cannot imagine her learning way would be seen as socially acceptable in a school environment, yet she is very much learning, in a very loud and often obtrusive way. She has not learnt this from people around her, she hasn’t been role modelled this reactive behaviour, it is simply uniquely her, innately born way.  If i was to try to stop or halter her or give her the impression that it is unacceptable to voice her frustration in trying so hard, then i am hindering her voice, her determination, her powerful innate drive to succeed at what ever she sets her mind to. I won’t play that role for my children. I won’t  be the one to tell them that they can’t do something because it seems too hard or implausible. And it wont bother me if she kicks and screams her way through life, at least i know she won’t succumb to being silenced easily.