australian porn culture

The ABC network and Triple J Hack program had the perfect platform this week to begin what needed to be a serious discussion in Australia on the detrimental impacts that the pornography industry is having on the younger generation of the Australian society.

Instead the producers of ‘Australians on Porn’ broadcasted Monday 7th December ABC, opted for a facile approach, ignoring the complexities of the real issues concerning pornography. The program was disappointingly kept safely confined and avoided at all costs entering into a deeper more controversial discussion around young people and the impacts pornography is having on their psychological well-being.

It is unclear as a viewer as to why the discussion was restricted to such an extent where effort had obviously been made to include the opinions of educated guests dealing with the problematic issues surrounding pornography. Why the views of Melinda Tankard Reist and Laura Pintur were consistently intercepted and disregarded is none the less perplexing. Even with the unyielding insistence of Melinda, to openly discuss the raw truths surrounding pornography and her courageous willingness to publicly use the highly controversial ‘porn language’, in efforts to bring awareness to the topic, unfortunately was to be of no avail. Perhaps, the ABC producers and Tim Tilly failed to do the necessary research in regards to Melinda’s particular approach towards the seriousness of this subject, and therefore were ill-equipped to handle the scrutiny that transpired during the program.

With the exception of Melinda Tankard Reist and Laura Pintur the programs selection of the guests was poorly executed. The invaluable awareness of these two women on the detrimental effects pornography is really causing, far out weighed and was incomparable to the ignorance displayed by the other guests and most disappointingly Tim Tilly himself.  A clear example of the sheer obtuseness was no better displayed than when Lucy Bee states ‘you have probably sort out the worst of the worst,” when addressing Laura and questioning her creditability, due to her minimal porn experience. She uses the words ‘sort out’ like it is a timely, difficult process that one needs to go through to access a level of high rated pornography portraying extreme violence and or abusive sex footage. However, as a parent of teenage children endeavouring to be well-informed on the topic and the level of difficulty required in obtaining access to these sites actually is, and I quote is evidently easier than a “3 year old operating the remote control of a television”. Clearly, Lucy Bee is out of touch with the developmental advancements of children today.

If a 10-year-old boy can be introduced to a magnitude of explicit visual images and video flashing advertisements depicting child like, aggressive, rape, porn culture by another 10-year-old in the safe confinements of his school grounds, then I beg to differ on the diminutive importance that the ABC network in conjunction with Triple J Hack program put forth for this program.

The true intent of the program was no clearer represented than in the pre-reordered scenes that whitewashed the true seriousness of this issue through a bias presentation of glorified scenes and intent to guise the topic with mediocre humour, candidly.

Disappointingly, Tom Tilley representing, Triple J Hack failed tremendously on all levels to recognise the immense importance of this issue, and was particularly disappointing when he allowed his ego to take precedence over the arduous dialogue surrounding pornography and indications of whom it is really harming.

The ABC and Triple J’s representation of ‘Australians on Porn’ failed miserably to bring any kind of new informative public awareness and most incredibly undermined the intelligence and perception of its viewers surrounding a highly disturbing controversial topic that should be at the forefront of current issues concerning the well-being of our younger generation of Australians.

Shame on you ABC and Triple J.


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April has been, trying ever so hard to purposely slow down, about creating new humble spaces for babies and chickens, challenging teenagers on their ideas about doing when all I am wanting is in the not doing. it has been about getting clear and being still, still enough to hear my own inner voice. It’s been about watching the worry, leaning away instead of falling into it. It’s been about knowing that whatever is playing out in this moment will eventually move on if i allow myself to let it go. Im letting go of a lot lately. We have created great spaces for celebrating birthdays and explored new places, we spent more time in the garden, more time just being with life. April has been a time for new growth. I am grounded and for now  i’m comfortable in the not knowing of what lyes ahead. I understand now, that everything is as it should be,  that life is merely unfolding..

honouring a year past..

This year has been a hard one for our family, big changes came with big challenges, much of which we are still unfolding. My girls sometimes worry that we are unique in the current unrest of our home, that the waves of emotions and truthful uncertainties are not something that is felt within the homes of their friends families. The truth is, it is more likely closer to what is real than the idea of ‘happily ever after’ is in many ways. We are forever unfolding and growing into ourselves and if we get too caught up in things that don’t matter for long enough, we can lose sight of what truly does, even with the ones we love the most. It is important for them not to be too sheltered from life’s pains. If we protect and hide what is real, what is raw and true, we teach them to only know life as an all encompassing wonderful. And life is wonderful but it can also be equally devastating and no one is immune to feeling some sort of devastation at some time in their lives. We need our children to be aware of this, we need to them to grow with resilience, so when life imposes hard challenges upon them, they will know that it is alright to hit the ground. It is alright to feel hard pain. It isn’t a sign of a weakness or a betrayal of a story that they have been living, there is no shame, no need to hide or mask what is real for them in that moment. They need to understand that life moves around and around, and the hardest of moments will pass, we will circle up again.    IMG_7583IMG_7504IMG_7157IMG_6714IMG_6558IMG_6161IMG_9227IMG_9063IMG_9079IMG_8073IMG_6107IMG_6069IMG_5980IMG_5633IMG_5438IMG_7059IMG_8958IMG_7428IMG_1051IMG_7128IMG_1534IMG_7780IMG_0603IMG_5641IMG_1517IMG_6516   IMG_1528 IMG_5316 IMG_5313 IMG_6568 IMG_6669 IMG_6886 IMG_7448 IMG_7450 IMG_7993 IMG_9106IMG_1270IMG_1377IMG_4958IMG_5541IMG_5953IMG_6179IMG_6611IMG_7025IMG_7030Staying true takes bravery. Staying true, doesn’t always mean that there is an absence of love. Love can be very present and it’s a difficult challenge to go on loving another without an idea of what the story is really meant to look like. Life and love are messy, children do complicate relationships, it takes a deep kind of honesty to be able to understand and often admit such inclinations. I would rather my children know that they wont be saved from never feeling pain in their relationships, that having children will challenge them in ways that they could never imagine. Parenting, is tricky. Autism is a blessing and a heartache. There is subtleties, that only you as a parent can recognise, the struggles and misunderstandings, confusions and frustrations. It’s almost impossible to completely understand, and as a parent you carry a certain kind of worry that is unique only to them. These honest challenges have put a strain on our family, and we are all still trying to find our grounding. I am hopeful that we are on our way up again. I have let go of any ideas of what I thought we were meant to be and are allowing life to honour us with what we are instead. I have surrendered, and relaxed into the truth and I know happiness will flow through our doors once again, sometime soon. This past year we have shared many, many tears and have experienced more than our fair share of temper tantrums from toddlers, teenagers and an overloaded mother. But as a family we have triumphed life with our spirits, love and acceptance of what is. In all our uncertainties that we have been presented with, we are settled in the knowing that we are a strong tribe and we will be alright, no matter what life bestows upon us next.



I have paused. for a moment. Bringing my children in close. Deciding what matters and where to  go from here. Nothing seems to be clear. There doesn’t seem to be anything I should be doing differently. My children are all needing me in different ways. It is hard to find the balance and stretch myself enough for them. Trying to protect them from hurts but wary that some pains are what we are here to go through. They are what will essentially move us in the end. I need my children to know that life is hard most of the time. That it needs to flow up and down, that is the balance. We can’t get caught up in an idea that everything can always be perfect or pretty. The truth is, most of the time it’s not. But we keep striving for this idealism even when we know it’s most likely unattainable. The teenage years are hard, trying to find where they fit into the world, into the family,  but mostly fitting in with themselves. I think I am a better mother to babies, they make more sence to me. I struggle as a mother to teenagers. It is a time when it feels as though so  much is out of control, for us all. We try so hard to connect with each other but end up missing the mark most of the time. It’s a time when, as a mother I am having to take a deep breath and step back, and trust that somehow they will find their way, and their way back.