Tag: family

fathers tell your daughters

 

‘before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl.

If they are made one way, it doesn’t wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit. ‘

 

-words  from inkskinned.

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And as a father, it is you that will teach her, her worth when she begins the journey searching for love, She will look to how you loved her, how she is seen in your eyes, if she is all that matters, and that there is no greater love than that between a father and daughter if it is done right. You will teach her to be brave, to speak her mind, to feel worthy, intelligent, important and beautiful, she wont go looking to boys to replace you, if you stay beside her. Know that she will watch you, the way you are beside a woman, the way you love, they way you respect, this is how she learns how to be treated by the ones she lets into her life. This is how she will know how valuable she is. As she grows, she will be demanding, complicated and messy, and at times she will push you to your limits.  She will undoubtably test the love you have for her, she will want you to prove it to her, fight for her, she will do all of this to see if you will stay, to see if you love her enough in all of her shades.

 

thoughts over lunch

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The simplicity of

feeding the chickens

who laid the eggs

for me to cook

to feed

to the children.

 

can all of life possibly be this simple?

I am so thankful that my children are living just a little of this simplicity, in between  ipads and youtube train clips. I’m thankful that my three-year old with autism can tell the difference between a carrot and a potato and that I often find play dough in muffin trays in my oven because he has been making cookies. Both of our little ones enjoy cups of tea in the morning, not because they are thirsty, more so because they already in their young minds understand the sacredness of that first morning cup, where sleepy eyes and heads are not quite awake enough yet for the beginning, for play. They will learn where their food comes from and that they don’t really need much to keep their bellies content.. maybe just a few chickens roaming in the yard.

 

 

mothers

He asks,

‘What is it you do?

I’m a mother

‘Yes, I know that but what else, before that?

She feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach , as she frantically searches her mind for a more suitable answer.

A mother, just a mother.

He is oblivious in the knowing, that in that moment all worthiness was stripped away and her heart was silently crying an abundance of tears

For the self she is yet to know and the self she has whole heartedly  given to her children.IMG_5801

when did it become not enough? when was it that becoming a mother became so undervalued?  It is true, there are parts of myself, parts that are not a mother or a wife but are simply me. They are most of the time in the shadows or only seen as a glimpse now and again and as mothers, the caretakers of our families we know only too well that this is a selfless journey we have chosen. We move through our days nurturing and nourishing our families by meeting needs and with an abundance of love. Often allowing all those who matter most to us to move on their journeys ahead of our own. We wait patiently, maybe for only a few minutes of solitude, or a full nights sleep, or enough time to take a bath, read a chapter in a book, or a pause long enough to feel the warmth of the sun on our faces, maybe the bigger things we will have to wait a little longer for.

It is undeniably deplorable that the very words ‘ I am a mother’ are so often perceived as insignificant and demeaning. That even I, when asked this was not able to convey my own importance and sacrifices here, that I was, in that moment diminished to feeling like it wasn’t enough.  I believe that if it wasnt for mothers, so many that are blessed to be living up to their ambitious dreams and walking the journeys that they have chosen for themselves without the need to pause or defer to raise the children, might look upon us in a new light and with gratitude in their hearts. IMG_5913 IMG_5925 IMG_5919 IMG_5929 IMG_5928

a thought

there should be a two-year period after high school where it is socially expected that kids not work, or go to school or do anything but take road trips, read books, meet new people and take lots of pictures..

-via withshoeslikethat

what a wondrous ‘une période de transition’  from adolescence to adulthood and learning about one’s self.

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domesticating children

‘washing dishes can be a meditation…

i have placed a small sticky note above our sink with these words roughly scribbled on it. since the unfortunate dying of our beloved dishwasher it is taking some great convincing in our house hold that this could be an opportunity presenting itself. Thich Nhat Hanh, a practicing zen buddhist monk, uses washing the dishes as an opportunity to practice prayer and meditation. Here, looking out the kitchen window from our simple home front, I see children learning to cooperate, the sharing in household tasks,learning life skills, growing up. It seems though that the only person i have been able to successfully persuade in this new approach to washing up is our Georgie, at 16 months she’ll happily do the rounds of dishes morning, noon and night. Thank god for my little domestic goddess.

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kitchen tale

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“Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life
― Picasso

Every now and again life can temporally turn you up side down.  We are in a moment like that now. There seems to be a few things that i do during these moments, without much thought. Maybe unconsciously thats what Im needing to do. Most of the time I renovate or change something, make something new, leaving behind our world for a while. Fortunatly we have an old house with plenty of spaces to do this to. My latest creation is a kitchen wall. I painted it with chalkboard paint on a spur of the moment thing. I was only really intending to put a fresh coat on our babies chalk board and well just kept going. Surprisingly it’s turned out well. I added an old plank of wood as a shelf and filled a few wine bottles with olive oil. I feel better.